Christmas Eve Mass

  Christmas Eve mass is quite a show!  For the last few years my parents and I have been in the gym of the school as opposed to the church.  We call this, Christmas Overflow!  I was there 35 minutes before the service started so I could get a seat.  I'm not sure what time the "chosen ones" in the church got there! ;) I used to get upset about being in the gym, it's not the same, why bother.  Well, you do bother and it's not about location.  I realize that now as an adult. 

I wish I could say that this mass, like all others for me was peaceful, quiet and humble.  I use the hour I have for mass to really sit and clear my mind.  Christmas Eve mass is no place to do that. 

Quickly the gym fills up and as if on cue old classmates of mine come in with spouses and children in tote.  Their parents who have saved the seats for 40 minutes stand and do a big wave to get their attention and smile proudly as if to show off their successful children and grandchildren.  The old classmates come in almost out of breath with kids on hips and clasped strongly in hands.  Anyone who has children (or worked with them) knows what it took to get those children dressed and out the door for mass, so no one minds their lateness.  We smile, do a polite nod and maybe even a silly face that acknowledges "oh you've had another child since I saw you last," or "he looks like he's a handful, but he sure is cute!"  We all know that face, we've all made that face!

While on a "normal" Sunday, I would receive Communion and walk quietly back to my seat, Christmas Eve mass is different.  This is the time for kisses on the cheek, and a whispered "good to see y'all."  As if you were walking down the red carpet, a wave here and there is almost expected! 

There is always an uncomfortable joke from the priest about the amount of people at this mass and how he wonders how many are actually from out of town.  But we all know what we are there for, to knock this thing out so we can do one of a few things: feed, bathe and put kids to bed, attend an amazing Christmas Eve party or finish wrapping presents. 

I know God has a sense of humor, and I truly thinks he just giggles as he watches parents of young ones fighting to keep the kids in the seat, or keep them from playing with the girls hair in front of them, or crawling under the chairs, or...or.....or. 

To all my old classmates from both elementary and high school, it was a pleasure seeing you!  We may not have spoken, or even caught each others eye but it's always lovely to watch how peoples lives change. 

Merry Christmas!

MMP Fall Trip

I got just back from a weekend in the mountains with my sweet girlfriends! The log cabin belongs to the Aunt of one of the MMP husbands who is generous enough to let us use it every year.  Generosity these days surprises me (I hate that) and it's always so lovely to see! 

What a difference a year can make.  Isn't that the saying?  Slight changes you can see in the pictures; pregnancy, weight loss, weight gain.  Some changes are sitting on bed side tables and bathroom sinks.  Pill boxes.  I went from one room to another and saw two pill boxes and just laughed to myself.  This group of ladies, what can I say?  At least we are together on this journey! We can laugh together about new pills, or vitamins.  We cry together about struggles and obstacles.  Grateful.  That's what I am when I am around these girls, among other things. 

 We joke to each other about what we share and with whom.  Kim walks in and begins to tell me a story, Amy starts laughing saying "you are telling her because you know she will agree with you." Too funny! We all know what story to tell and to who to get the reaction that we want and/or need at the time.  That is a perk of a group like this! 

It was quiet, easy, cozy, warm.  We laughed, cried, ate and drank.  We gave gifts, and accepted them and wished each other luck, love and well wishes especially in the next few months. 

Just another night

This is the story of a quiet little street in the middle of an old downtown neighborhood.  It's a warm night with a bit of chill in the air that reminds you November is around the corner.  It's dark, everyone is getting ready for the time change. Manor is dark, darker than its surrounding streets. No street light on Manor makes the trick or treaters stay away.

Manor Avenue is made up of ten old houses. All with their yards covered in a mixture of brown oak leaves and straw from the towering pines.

 It's quiet, and all you hear on a night like this is a dogs howl.  He truly believes he's helping when the sirens of an ambulance go by. He's on super alert tonight! There are children and families walking down the street that runs perpendicular to Manor.  It's busy out there, outside Manor Avenue.  Doorbells are ringing, parents are chatting, children are squealing and yelling out their best "TRICK OR TREAT."

You may hear a loud rumble or the swish of a broom from this Avenue but no worries, it's just a resident of Manor pulling in the trash an from the road and sweeping off the front porch.  Pretty boring here on October 31st.  By 7:30 pm the dog has given up and the residents, well they too realize that another Halloween has gone by without those chatting parents and without those squealing children.

Just another night.

Raina Turned 3!

On Saturday, the 14th my sweet niece Raina turned 3 years old!  Amazing! This girl has me laughing more than I feel I should for her just being three years old. 

Things I remember...

The night before she was born her mama was in the hospital.  I went by there to check on them and we played cards for a while.  The next day almost came and went without her.  But before we could even get to the hospital (which was a short 7-9 minute drive) Raina Dorothy was born. 

I will never forget her cheeks.  Those cheeks were too much!

She was beautiful! Her face was so puffy, poor thing, but she was beautiful! She changed so much from then, her looks alone.  Her eye color changed, the shape of her face...so much!

I remember painting her Welcome Home sign and going by their house to hang it up before they got home.  Those will always be the little things I remember and charish!

I'm lucky to have her so close! I get to see her and keep her and play as much as I can!  She is growing up fast, and I love watching her turn into a real person.  Watching her reaction to people, things, events.  Watching her personality shine through, the times she's shy and the times when she doesn't know a stanger.  It's so exciting!! 





Three years ago, the world changed.  My sweet sassy pants came into the world, and it will never be the same.  She adds such light and laughter! 

My Reputation Precedes Me

I got a call this morning from my boss who left me a message.  It said, in so many words:

I got a call from a provider (director of a child care center) in Kershaw that you worked with when you were with DSS and she said she would rather not have you in her facility. 

Um....ok. 

When I was with DSS-Licensing I regulated child care centers.  My job was to look for things that were wrong.  I realize that it didn't make me popular, I didn't care about that.  By pointing out that you don't have any covers in your electric sockets I know I was working for the health and safety of children. 

But this hit hard.  Hurt my feelings a little bit.  This means two things.  One, I didn't have the relationship I thought I did with providers in Kershaw and two, I'm losing my hard DSS shell. 

I wish the providers could see it how I do.  Here is a person who was a director of a center, worked with DSS for 5 years and now I can come into your center FOR FREE and help you with ANYTHING.  Um, I know some stuff.  Throw me a bone here. 

But I digress.  I will continue helping those that didn't know me as a "Regulator."

Night Time Ninja

It's 1:43am. The house was dark, darker than normal.  It's been raining today, dark clouds and gloomy.  When the sun that was already masked by storm clouds went down for the night it was dark.  No light from the moon to guide you.

I was counting on that, the moon light.  I knew the house, I lived there before, but when it's the middle of the night and you are a little disoriented it's nice to have a ray of moonlight from the window to guide you. 

I had no such light.  I was on my own.  I rubbed my eyes, the way a sleepy toddler does with their hands in fists and opened them real wide to make sure my path was clear.  I stood in the doorway trying to get my barrings for two to three minutes at least. 

It was ok, I had time.  I didn't hear anything from him.  He was still asleep. 

My eyes had adjusted as much as they could, I wasn't going to be able to see any better.  I grabbed all the gear I needed.  My hands were full so I had to make sure again that the path was clear or they would all be up.  That won't be good for anyone. 

Hands and arms full, I start slowly across the hall.  It has been a while, but I know this hallway.  I know the sounds.  I know the sound it makes when someone is walking from one room to mine, and the sound it makes walking down the stairs. 

These cracks and squeaks in the floor are something I learned fast when we moved in.  I could tell if I was going to have a visitor to tell me "it's getting late, you need to get up," or if they went directly downstairs with no stop at my door, which meant I had more time to sleep.

Think Jennifer.  You know this. 

On my tip toes and with my breath held I started my way down the hallway. 

Step, step, pivot.  There's a squeak there.
I made it to the steps, halfway there.
Step, step, side step, SQUEAK.....Shit, I forgot that one.

I am silent.  Still.  Frozen.  The doors are closed, but that was loud.  Still no sound from the boy. 

I continue my journey to the boys room. 

I'm a foot from his door.  His squeaky, in desperate need of WD-40 door.  Exhale, finally. 

How am I going to open the door with my hands and arms full? 

The boy is still quiet.  I must not be as loud as I thought.  It must have taken me thirty minutes to get from one room to the other.  What time is it? When did I start this journey? I'm exhausted and I haven't even completed my task. 

Door open.  The boy is laid out on his stomach and made no move when I entered the room.  Exhale.  It's darker in this room than it is in the hallway.  There must be some light coming from the moon. 

It's Louis's night time feeding. 

He was asleep through the bottle, and the diaper change.  It wasn't until I laid him back down when he woke up and looked at me.

I can't imagine what I looked like after my journey. 
Out of breath
Disheveled
Hair a mess

That boy.  My eyes had adjusted and I could see his big eyes smiling back at me with a grin to match. 

Don't engage, don't engage.  I had to repeat quietly to myself.  It's so hard. 

I quietly backed out of his room and made my way back to my room.  I was greeted by Louis singing in the monitor that was sitting next to my bed.  He sang to me for the next 45 minutes. 

My journey was over.  It was 2am.  I did all of that in less than 20 minutes. 

Note to self: ask Lindsey the shortest she has ever done night time feeding.  I mean, that has to be some kind of record. 

Only 13 hours until Lindsey and Tab get back from the mountains. 

I make another mental note: Add to resume-Ninja.

Edisto 2013

This was our 5th year going to the beach!  Hard to believe until you start to look back at the pictures.

This year we were back in the same house!  It was a great house!  Jaimie and Jimmy felt a little more comfortable using this house, although there were a lot of talks of changing beaches. 

The fact is, between accessibility, travel and income loss, this group sacrifices a lot to be together for a week in the summer. 

And the that we have been able to do it 5 years in a row give or take a few of us here and there is pretty amazing!



I don't know what year the bottom picture was, but long enough to know that we all look really good in 2013!





Catherine came with Luke about mid-week and it didn't him and Aiden long to become best friends for those couple of days.  Even needing alone time from each other!  They played really well together!  My room is right next to the boys room, so I got the privilege of hearing some great conversations in the morning.  One being one of the boys asking the other if they are going to be best friends forever and the other simply answers, "yeh." And my favorite was when Aiden needed some help wiping and Luke enlisted Catherine's help at 5:30am!  Catherine quickly called Kim in. 

 

Can't you see the conversation!  They are such good friends Luke was going to get his mom to wipe Aiden's behind.  Don't worry friend, I'll get my mom!  Awesome!  Those two were a lot of fun! 

 

Miss Sass Pants though, now that girl is a ham and a half!

 

 This little girl was so much fun all week!  As much as she is ALL girl, she can hang with the boys and keep up with them!  Just like her mama!  She was so snuggly!  And brave, what?  There's no sitting in a chair watching her play at the beach.  She makes a B-line to that ocean! 

The kids ate at the table on the porch every night, it was just so great having them around!  Hearing the laughing, watching them test the waters both figuratively and literally. 

I had a great morning jogging on the beach and then riding my bike.  It was early, quiet, peaceful.  One of my favorite things about the beach are early mornings.  The other being late nights with the stars! 

We had pretty good weather.  It did rain more this year, but it was your typical late afternoon thunderstorms.  I think there might have been a couple of nights that the storm went through the night. 

Play time on the beach!   

We got a better beach wheel chair than what Jimmy had last year and it made a big difference!  Jaimie and Michael got him down to the water, it was great!  He looked very happy!

Lastly, one of my favorite pictures from the whole week!  Aiden and Luke got water guns!  Rory was always right in the middle of the action, but this time she got in the cross-fire!  Poor kiddos, we laughed and laughed before we opened the door!  They were so much fun!! 


Edisto has a lot of our memories!  There may be a time when we have to find another beach that is more accommodating to our groups needs.  God willing, our group will only get bigger!  But for now, for 2013, it was a great time! 
 



Raina Time!

Finally! 

I've been waiting three years to be able to have one or both of my girls (nieces) over to my house to play all night!

It was everything I wanted and more!  Soon we will have spend the night parties and they will be awesome too!!

Raina came over a couple of weeks ago while her mom and dad went out!  We played outside, took Charlie Turkey on a walk, played hide and seek and built a tent! 

This girl had me in stitches from the time her mom and dad left.  "bye, bye mama..." and promptly closed the door right behind them!  No hesitation!

Raina loves Charlie!  Loves him! She hated that he can't come inside.  She hated that he had to stay outside while it rained (in his house of course). Finally it stopped raining for a bit and we got to go out and play!

 

Charlie loves her too!  He was very excited!

 

Raina spent the week before this at the beach in Florida with Sittee and Giddee and her mom and dad.  From what I hear hide and seek was a big part of that trip!  She didn't skip a beat wanting to play in my small house where hiding places are limited!

 

She started counting, " 1..2....3..4..5.9.10" and then she came running.  I had some pretty good spots for a while there, behind the curtain of my laundry room, in the tub, behind a door.  She's good though!  Found me every time!

 

We ate spaghetti and then bath time! It was a short night in all but I loved every second! 

 

With mom and dad living in town that is the go to place for all the kids.  My house generally can't accommodate the whole family but having the kids over and having little nuggets of time with them feeds my soul! 

 

 

 

Raina is so grown.  It surprises me.  I hate when people say the cliche statements like

 

"it goes by so fast"

"where did the time go"

"stop growing"

"slow down"

"time flies"

 

I hate it.  But man, they are true.  I try not to use statements like that and instead try and completely be in the moment we are in now.  Be here with her while she is two and a half, about to be three.  Write about it because my memory will fade. 

 

Don't waste even the smallest bit of time with the stupid cliche statements.  Just enjoy the time you are in!  I don't get to see any of these sweet kiddos as much as I want.  Between geography, time and you know, my job it's hard. 

 

But this nugget, this night, was awesome!

 



 

 

 

Naked Time Out

Naked time out is my favorite. 

I'll give you a little background first.  I have the greatest pleasure in the world of being an Aunt to four amazing children.  I spent the weekend with two of them.  Betty is 3 and Louis is 6 months. 

Going to Lindsey's for the weekend use to mean something very different.  I didn't pack goodies for kiddos, there were no kiddos.  I packed beer.  And we drank all weekend.  At the house, at the beach, at a bar, in the backyard.  With each other, with Charleston friends, with Tab.  We woke up late, showered and went to eat brunch at 11am with no regard of time or schedules. 

Cut to, three years later...

Wake up call every morning 7:15a.  As sure as the sun rises every morning, you know that you will be up at this time in that house.  Luckily the way you wake up is by kisses from a very happy three year old that wakes up talking in the middle of a sentence.  "...so that's why my mermaid is in my doll house." Wait, what? I think I was sleeping during the first part of that conversation.  Louis wakes up singing.  If you walk in his room his grin goes from ear to ear while he chews on his blanket. 

Lindsey's job is to stay at home with these two kiddos.  She is amazing at it.  She has her schedule and they stick to it.  Betty responds well to a schedule and Louis is beginning to as well. 

The witching hour is between 4:30p-6:30p.  Even with two parents working towards the similar goal of getting the children fed, bathed and to bed it's a task!  You HAVE to have a routine or they will gang up on you and take you out.  I've seen it. 

Like any other "normal" three year old there are times when the body doesn't catch up with the brain.  You can hear mom and dad asking you to eat three more butter beans, but your legs just won't stay still.  Mom and dad are super patient.  That would be their super power!  Superman has nothing on Super Patient Mom and Super Patient Dad!

They are patient because they know what to expect out of their three year old.  They know that she is still learning.  They know that there will be times when she tests her limits, when she breaks down and when she doesn't want to listen.  They know she isn't doing this just to grate their nerves (mostly).  That's what makes them great at their job.  That is the difference between types of parents these days.  The ability to read your child, your patience level as an adult and knowledge of age appropriate behaviors.  This is commonly misunderstood and thought of as "Motherly instinct." It is very different.  Mothers instinct is not automatically knowing what a three year old is and is not capable of.  You have to learn that.  You have to read about it and you have to educate yourself. 

But, I digress.

With all the knowledge in the world, children will test you.  And when you ask your three year old to put on clothes for the day and she doesn't listen and runs away from you, you have a little girl "fake" crying in her panties that say Sunday on them taking the long walk down the hallway to the Time Out Chair.  "You're not crying you are just screaming" says the knowledgeable mom.  And it stops immediately.  Betty is holding the timer and before time is up, she is called back into the den.  And from down the hall you can hear in between some little sniffles "bu-but the timur is not up yet mama." She is honest, I'll give her that! 

Naked time out is my favorite.  I've seen it only once before right after bath time.  And that was a truly naked time out.  It's so funny looking in from the outside.  When Lindsey says "I hope you wake up on the good side of bed tomorrow" and Betty's response, again, between sniffles is "what side is that?"  She looks at her bed pointing asking so she can make sure they are both on the same page.  I die.  I love these stories.  To be able to visit for a weekend and see them in action is pure happiness!

It is different going to Lindsey's house now.  But I re-group and adjust well! (I think)  Wear the kids out all day Friday so they sleep hard that night.  Beer and crawfish on the back porch for me and Lindsey.  Long overdue! We have the kids Saturday (with exception to the morning with just Louis) and Tab takes them all day Sunday while we spend 5 and a half hours on the beach!

It was a fun weekend!  I'm ready to have that little girl and Raina at my house for a slumber party! 

Fancy Garage Sale!

I went to an Estate Sale today in Rosewood. 

It was...fun, sad, exciting.  Yes, all of those!

It was right around the corner from my house.  The only reason I didn't ride my bike is because it was 18642 degrees outside and there's no telling what I would come back with.  It opened at 11am,  and that's when I got there.  Maybe 11:01 or 2 but no later than that.  People were already inside and there was a long line. 

I got my number and waited patiently watching what people were coming out with.  Silently wishing I was a retired woman with tons of money like I suspected some of ladies were around me. 

This happen to fall at a time that I could take my lunch break, but what was everyone else doing there?  I work from home which is another reason it was easy to go to being just around the corner.  Turns out this is a thing people do.  Kind of like garage sales, but fancier!!  I felt fancy standing in line with these ladies, some couples and a random college student.  I feel like they were looking at me thinking, what does she have? How can she be here in the middle of the day? Maybe she is secretly rich.  No one had seen me at any other sale so I was new and mysterious!

I can totally play mysterious!

"61!" she called, it was my turn!  I was channeling my mom and aunts who love to antique.  I never learned the craft because they always wanted to drag me into a huge warehouse when its 18642 degrees outside and mosey through the store.  Ew, no thank you.  But I needed their help now.  Would there be anything in here I think is cute and it turns out to be from the late 1800's and worth the tons of money I mentioned before??? 

It was a lot of old stuff, I know shocking!  An old piano, old plates on the walls, old dishes.  Everything was for sale.  I couldn't even describe the layout of the house to you, there were so many people and my eyes were darting back and forth.  I got to the kitchen and then to this back room, looked up and saw it!

Isn't that great!  I almost had to fight a really tall man for it.  Like, he tried to stop me from taking the tag off.  Nice try buddy but I'm mysterious and for all you know I could have been doing this for years! Side note, I have NO place to put this, so someone reading this may get it as a gift, act surprised!!

It wasn't until I got into one of the bedrooms and saw all this stuff.  There weren't any packed boxes, the whole house was set up.  The bed was made, pillows were on it.  There was soap in the shower, clothes in the closet.  Someone lived here.  Someone laughed here, cried here, had supper here, made plans here......Oooo a coach purse!!

Maybe it's not a sad story, maybe it's not a death, there could be any number of reasons to sell your entire estate, right?

I walked out with a great gamecock light, a leather weekend bag, a black clutch and two pairs of leather yard gloves! 

I look at it this way, I bought my house from an Estate.  So there are good things that come from these sales.  Like a good bag or a fun light!  Yes, that is the way I see it!  They will be on Rockbridge Road tomorrow, I may become a regular!

Weight Watchers to the Lido Deck

I went to my first WW meeting tonight.  With some bad memories from my first experience with WW I was a little hesitant. 

The meeting had me in stitches!

Miss Kay was the leader of this meeting.  How do I describe her??

She is the lady at Del Vista Boca (or any senior retirement home) that all the old men love!  She is old, but still sassy! She is loud, speaks her mind and still wears short little dresses.  She has on her panty-hose with her open-toe kitten heel and rocks a flower print!

All the members were between the ages of 47 and 70.  Old people everywhere! So each time Miss Kay made a cute little joke about wanting to eat all the potato salad at the fourth of July BBQ, the next 2 minutes you heard "uh? what'd she say?" and then the younger of the old people trying to repeat the "joke" in a louder but equally amusing tone.  Oh it was rough!

I could see Miss Kay working on a cruise boat with no difficulty!  I felt like she was doing a show all night.  Calling people by name, your basic "where you from honey?" Too funny!!

Anybody with big bones to the Lido Deck. 

Our Nation's Capital

Last weekend I went to DC with two friends of mine; KP I've known since 6th grade and KJ since 1st.  We met up with another friend from high school, JS. 

KPis great at picking up one weekend and traveling.  She comes and goes very freely unlike me.  She told KJ and I of her plans to visit DC, where she used to live and still has a lot of family.  We hopped on board and booked our flight.  For me, this was huge.  No over thinking, no second guessing, no changing my mind.  Flight booked. 

How could this trip be anything but a ton of fun?  I've known KJ for what seems like forever.  He is hilarious and always fun to be around.  KP and I are friends again after a little blip in high school (irrational teenage angst and all my fault). And JA is wonderful and fun!

I had not been on a plane since 8th grade when we ironically went to DC for a class trip.  Yes. Hi my name is Jennifer and I don't fly.  It's not even that I don't fly, I just haven't.   

I thought the flight was bumpy.  It was a super small plane, real tight fit.  But when I mentioned that to KJ and KP they both looked at me like really? So maybe I was a little off.  I don't like taking off.  You go so fast and then you can feel the plane dip a little bit when the wheels come off the ground.  Really? Who likes that...well KP does apparently! Landing wasn't as bad, at that point I was ready to get off the plane and go play! 

I won't go through the play by play because quite frankly I think I'll leave stuff out.  On account of all the alcohol. 

JS was an excellent host!  Excellent! I can't say that enough.  He made dinner reservations, although he did miss them Saturday night, but never the less, he did make them for us.  We ate so much good food! We passed our dishes around the table and then our signature cocktails that we ordered, or "fancy" beers.  Every one's was delicious. 

I'm not sure who we thought we were, but after shots, dancing and a hit off the hookah at a lovely Ethiopian bar, we all saw 4am.  Saturday morning came real early!  JS had reservations for us at a great brunch place.  It was actually the bottom floor of one of the dance bars we went to just hours before.  Bottomless mimosa and bloody mary's, you can't beat it. 

Saturday, after we gathered ourselves and gained some strength from some good food we went to a local beer garden, then a couple of others.  They were all local adorable places.  I'm sure KJ and JS would not use the word adorable, but they were! Saturday night, another great dinner and drinks at a roof top bar!

 

No standing allowed in this bar.  Great pistachios!

 

Sunday we decided to go and see some actual sights.  Although JS currently lives there, KP used to live there and we all visited in 8th grade together it's nice to see the White House and a view of the monuments. 

We had yet another wonderful brunch at this place downtown.  Drinks and food at the bar, best seat in the house!  The bar was so pretty with all the colors and the sunshine coming through the windows!

 

We ended up at the roof top of the Washington Hotel.  Apparently it's a popular spot to look out at all the sights!  They weren't kidding! One bar and we could see it all!  That's my kind of sight-seeing!

 

 

KP is a great storyteller, she told us all about the history of The Washington Hotel and who bought it out and when.  She pointed out all the monuments (from our cozy seats at the bar) and gave a little blurb about each of them.  Although not always prompted, she gave us a lot of good historically accurate information! We ended our trip at yep, you guessed it, another bar/pub! The only one we went to the whole time that had your basic Miller Light.  Fancy cocktail to my right and two beers to my left! "Anyone want to try my miller light? No?"

 

 

The flight home was very different.  It was 7:45pm, I was exhausted, a little buzzed and took an excellent 30 minute nap after we took off.  Woke up to the sweet lady smiling beside me, most likely because I was snoring a little.  It was a pretty quiet drive back into town, I think we were super tired!

 

All in all we had an amazing time! KJ is a trooper for waiting on two women in the hotel to get ready, JS is a fantastic DC host if you are ever in the area and more trips were planned!

 

 

Betty is three

Yesterday, Betty turned three years old.  At 8:40-something pm, she was born.  We all sat in the waiting room after the nurse told us they were just going to do some "practice pushes" and there she was. 

Things I remember:

She was so quiet.  She didn't say a word with all the people in the room.  She was so little.  She was yawning in this picture.  Very tired from the trip!

Lindsey put a purple ribbon around her beanie cap.  She was beautiful.  Lindsey was beautiful.  I know now she doesn't remember much of that moment.  But she kept saying, "look what I have!"  Very quietly, just to me like someone may over hear her and take Betty away.  Tab was a natural with her. He was so great holding her and passing her around to everyone. 

He came prancing down the hallway walking on his toes, as he does, with a big grin on his face.
It's a girl!

Three years ago the world changed.  Three years ago Betty arrived and the world will never be the same, and I know it is better because she's in it!

 

Laugh Out Loud

I didn't realize how hard or loud I laughed until I was at my sisters house recently.  With two sleeping children just down the hall she and Tab are on constant watch of noise in and out of the house.  So when a stupid commercial came on and I literally slapped my knee and laughed out loud they looked at me with this "if that woke up either one of those children..." looks.  Scary.  I'm not oblivious, I know what it takes to get these two to sleep.  I see it when I'm there and most times I am a part of the process.  You can't help but be when you're there. 

It leads me to Lindsey, and how she laughs.  In the last three years her number of snorts per year has gone up by at least 74%.  I have a theory for this:

While I choose to open my mouth wide, let my laugh out, not caring about my surroundings it is a full body laugh and nothing is suppressed; Lindsey on the other hand, one, doesn't laugh out loud as much as I do.  She has gotten better about it since we lived together in the pink house.  We actually had conversations about it.  Two, on top of maybe feeling a bit apprehensive about laughing out loud, she is also thinking of the two sleeping children she just spent 45 minutes putting to sleep.  Between the re-swaddles because Fat Man got out of the miracle swaddle (that is literally the name of it) or Miss Bett's ever challenging game of 'I have to go to the bathroom,' Lindsey waits for a quiet house.  So when she does laugh out loud at something it is quiet evident to anyone in the room suppressed and with that comes...SNORT.  Every. Single. Time. 

This is all to say that I love reading the research on laughter and what it does for your over all health.  It's amazing!  While I don't smile all day long (mainly because of how my mouth naturally curves down)-I do laugh AT LEAST once a day.  And almost always more than that. 

While I will not list all the things that make me laugh, I will tell you that going to YouTube and looking up the bloopers of your favorite TV show will not disappoint!  That is just one of the ways I laugh out loud. 

I encourage all of you to laugh out loud.  You have to smile while you're laughing, so its happiness times two! 

All she ever wanted...

All she ever wanted was a dog.

She had a job she loved, wonderful friends, supportive family, health.  But she wanted that dog. 

Having a dog would mean the world to her.  As far as she knew it would make her life complete.  All of her friends have dogs.  Some are new and they play together and go on walks and snuggle on the couch.  Some dogs have been around for a while and there is still mutual love but maybe not as much play time.

Everything is better with a dog.  You have someone to come home to.  Someone to talk to about your day.  Someone to say good night and good morning to.  Do you know how different your day is if you have someone to say good morning to?

Sometimes they need some training, from what I hear.  It takes a while for dogs to understand what you mean when you say something.  And you learn them too.  When they are happy, sad, scared. 

Yep, life is definitely better with a dog.  It doesn't suck without it, but it's not as good. 

It's hard to find a good dog, especially the older you get.  You used to be able to pick up dogs on the side of the road, they were just roaming the streets.  Now you have a little higher standards for this dog.  You want one with a nice smile, with just enough energy to match yours.  These days having a puppy isn't even high priority, you may want a dog with a little grey in his coat. 

You don't realize it until you are looking for a dog that they are all around.  Young ones, old ones, nice ones and mean ones. 

You have to be careful when picking out a dog, some will let you pet them and then they snap at you.  Some of them have been around the block too many times and have rabies. Eeek.  Some are really timid, so you never know if you click because they can't look you in the eye. 

But all she ever wanted was a dog.  A good, house broken, energetic, fun loving, snuggly, clean dog.

Wonder if she will be fully happy if she doesn't get a dog.  Some people never get dogs.  It's hard to imagine, or something you may not want to imagine. 

Dogs have so much to offer.  I hope she gets one some day. 

Maybe she should start listening to all the cliches she's heard all her life.  Once you stop looking you will find your dog.  There are plenty of dogs out there.  You are such a nice person, any dog would be lucky to have you.

So she waits.  And she watches her friends with their dogs and looks on adoringly.  She sits in her house alone and imagines what it would sound like with a dog in there.  She imagines the day that she finds her dog and how she couldn't help but cry because it's everything she ever wanted. 
All she ever wanted was a dog.

You have reached the end of The Internet.

For those of you who don't know (and my sister would tell a much funnier version) I cannot search the Internet.  It's true.  How can that be, you say? Well the fact is, I don't know.  But I'm awful at it. 

It doesn't matter what search engine, Bing, Google, MSN etc. I inevitably end up in some obscure place on the internet that doesn't have anything to do with what I'm searching. 

Example: I will try to search for invitation wording and get to a web page that only sells invitations.  I will try and search for a flight to DC, that I KNOW my friend has already booked but it comes up with it at double the price. 

I'm not in denial, I realize that it is operator error.  But when my supervisor looked at me the other day and said ok plan your trip to Arizona in July, I just sat there looking at the screen. 

Um, what?
Where do I? How do I? Can you?

Nope.  I am a big girl I need to be able to do this on my own. 

Ok, ok.  Where to start? A search engine. Yes, yes!

After, no lie, three hours I booked a flight to and from Arizona and booked three nights at a hotel. 

I was super proud of myself and handed everything into to Beatrice (boss) with a big smile on my face that resembled the smile of a young child turning in a diorama they worked on all night with their mom!

"Ok, thanks."  That's all I got.  I was standing there smiling like a goober, out of breath like I just ran a marathon, chest puffed up, beautifully signed clean copies..."Ok thanks." 

Very anti-climatic.  But I'm still proud none the less! 

I think I am on my way to being able to search the internet like everyone else I know, quickly and without error!

All my kids!

I gave birth to none of them but love them all just the same.  They are all so different.

Trevor-he is playing t-ball.  He tells me he is the pitcher and catches.  He is somewhat sarcastic, which I love.  I caught him rolling his eyes behind Bett's back as if to say you are a crazy old lady, but I'll hug you anyway.  He wanted to hold Louis all day.  He plays great with the girls and has the best manners! He will be in first grade next year. 

Betty-just finished her first 'year' at school.  She is very much into performing.  "introducing betty..." and then she comes out to do her thing! She listens to everything you say and then acts it out with the family in her doll house.  She has quickly learned what it means to have a sibling.  She has much more independent play.  She is a creature of habit, much like her parents.  But only for a little while.  You change things up at the right time and then she's into it!

Raina-this girl loves her some puzzles.  She also just finished her first year at school.  I swear she has grown a foot in the last year.  She has not varied in her love of all animals, mostly dogs.  She carried two stuffed ones in with her this weekend and took to Betty's Clifford quickly!  She is loud and animated, much different than Betty.  She squeals and the whole neighborhood can hear her.  It makes you smile to hear that squeal.  She loves Trevor.  I think having someone to pal around with was fun for her! She pranced around in her pink bikini and we all wanted to pinch that bottom.  Such a beautiful girl with her long blond hair!

Louis-it was his weekend.  He got baptized.  Poor baby was so tired and all he wanted during the ceremony was his bottle.  He was a trooper.  He had a rough start, but 3 1/2 months in (I'm sure Lindsey can give you the exact date) when they figured out his allergy and medicines, he is the snuggly baby Lindsey always wanted!  He's a big boy.  Almost 20 lbs at 4 months old.  I imagine him growing up tall and lanky like his Uncle Sammy, who was big as well.  He wasn't that big but he tipped the scales a bit! 

I'm thrilled to pieces to be the Godmother of both Betty and Louis.  I take the job seriously!  Father Miles said to Lindsey and Tab, (in so many words) there will never be another Louis Talbot.  Just like there will never be another Betty.  God made them in his image, and chose you two as the parents of these children.  Amazing to think about it that way.  I feel like we get caught up a lot and forget that there is something out there bigger than us. 

Thank you God for bringing all these children into my life.  Thank you for keeping them safe, happy and healthy! Please watch over them and their parents tonight and everyday.  Guide them in the right direction and be with them when they stray.   

Good old time fun!

A couple of weekends ago some friends and I went to Hendersonville in NC to celebrate the wedding of some other friends.

The groom worked for a company that did a lot of business with Gateway (before he moved to VA) so he knew other friends I have at Gateway, including one of the couples I went with. The bride is the God daughter of my best friend's mother, small world!   I was thrilled to get the invite and be there on the special day!

Brian and Emmylou were without new baby, so they were ready to let loose!  We checked into a sweet little mountain hotel on Friday night and met up with Drew and Rene for dinner.  Jon Couch met us later at a little pub that we found in downtown Hendersonville. 

The downtown was super cute.  It's newly paved, bricked and planted.  They must have just done some serious construction, it was beautiful and there were so many people out and about walking around!

Son of a Peach was my drink of choice for Friday night.  It's delicious and my fave for the summer time! 

We had a great time at the wedding!  It was a full church service with a packed house! Lolly looked beautiful and Dave looked thrilled to death.  Although, you'd be hard pressed to find him without a great big smile on his face!

Emmylou and I were members of the band by the end of the night! Singing along to Don't Stop Believing and Movin' On Up.  We danced in our heels all night!  Doing the Twist in heels the whole length of the song = Wedding Workout!

After the wedding we changed clothes and met some friends at their cabin by a really pretty waterfall.  Luckily it was all near the reception! It was fun and a good way to decompress from the night! Although hindsight, I should have kept a better eye on my phone.  I left it there and a very nice someone mailed it to me a week later!

 

I had a really good time! We all got to spend more time with Rene, Drew's girlfriend and Jon who we haven't seen in a long time!  It's always fun when we all get together, add some good drinks  (or just some forty's) and it makes for late nights and some delicious Waffle House the next day!

Happy Wedding Cooter-Dave and Lolly! I wish you all the best!

Unplugged

I went to NC this past weekend with a group of friends for the wedding of two other friends.  It was a wild weekend that ended with my phone wanting to stay in NC while I went home. 

Luckily a very kind good samaritan found it before it went dead and called the million missed calls from a friend.  She said she will mail it to me.  Yay!  It's been three days without it and it sucks.

I miss...

*Talking to Lindsey while one of her kids is sleeping and the other one is taking a bottle during Days of out Lives.  Seriously, who beat up Raif???
*All my music-it's hard to workout without music and the the stuff they play at the gym is awful.  Thanks Taylor Swift, but you aren't helping any.
*The calendar on my phone.  Yeh, that's a weird one.  But I have found that I don't have a calendar anywhere else with all my stuff on it.
*Twitter.  Yes, I realize I am becoming more and more like my best friend Jaimie, who loves her technology, but I have really enjoyed reading the celebs tweets as if they were meant just for me. 
*The quick text.  I mean wow, email sucks!

I realize that this just proves that I am (we all are) living in a world of immediate gratification.  Ok, that's the world I live in, now give it back.  Immediately!

The Fixer

One of my new favorite shows right now is Scandal.  The main character played by one brilliant Kerry Washington is called a "Fixer" and that is when I first heard this word.

Later, after talking to my closest girlfriends they used the term to describe me.  As in 'of course you are uncomfortable, you are a fixer, and you can't fix this.'

Wow.  Nail on head. 

That's one of the MANY reasons I love these girls.  They know me so well, better than myself sometimes! It makes me feel loved!

So the magic question, what happens when a fixer can't fix? 

I love my girls! I love them like family! They are a huge part of me, they know my secrets and I know theirs.  We are close for the secrets we have on each other alone.  :) I try to spend as much time with them as I do with my real family.  They deserve that, my time!

As a group of five that has known each other for 14 years (um, wow!) we have been through a lot.  The good stuff is really good: Engagements, marriage, children, frat parties, drinking, bikini contest, graduations, promotions, Edisto, new houses, new cars, new careers.  And the bad is really bad: Unthinkable decisions, miscarriages, depression, life altering car accident, change in jobs, change in home towns, loss.  So much loss.  No one group should have to go through the loss that we have.  We have had loss.  We are one person, we all experienced these losses, differently, but all the same.  You can't fix a loss.  You can't fix that hole it leaves. 

Give me an infant, give me a toddler and I am all over it.  Behavior issues, done.  Temperament questions, answered.  I've studied, I've learned, I've put into practice and I am confident in my abilities.  Perhaps that makes me confident across the board in my ability to fix things.  I'm not sure, but something has. 

I'm not sure if it's confidence or just my need to make things better.  Either way I have been faced with too many situations I can't fix.  I am confident that these girls don't expect that from me and mostly just want me to hear them, to be there.  That's not enough for me and it's beginning to affect my insides.  It's my issue, I need to let it go and just be present.  But that is easier said than done. 

How can I sit by and watch someone so close to me hurt. 

You have to take a break, it's only been a couple of months.  This does not make you less of a woman.  Things happen for a reason.  God must have something amazing planned for you to go through what you have been through.  I'm worried you've gotten lost on this path and I don't know how to help.  I can't relate....at all.  And I want to.  I want to know what it means, why it's so hard.  I'm trying so hard to understand. 

Being a fixer makes me feel worth something.  It's what I have to offer.  Listening is not enough, being present is not enough.  I need to do something that will help out loud.  What do I have if not an answer?  That's what I do. 

And then I think, it's not about me.  It's not about me.  It's about her, it's about them, always.  So I will wait, I will listen.  I will always be here.  They were there when I came out the other side.  They were a big part of the light at the end of my tunnel.  I will be the light at the end of the tunnel.  I'll be the hand that pulls you through. 

You will get through, we will get through.  Until then, deep breath and exhale. 

Puppy Dog Sleepover

This weekend Charlie has his best friend sleeping over!  General comes over often to play and spend the night! 

Like me, Charlie can get stuck in a rut of his own independence.  He likes things done a certain way and doesn't sway from that too much. 

So it's nice to have General come over and mix things up a bit.  He is a few years younger than Charlie, so he keeps him on his toes!  Last time he was here it started raining outside and I caught both of them in Charlie's dog house.  It was adorable!

I love that they are such good friends.  It makes me happy! 

My Journey: Part II

I remember being fully aware that I was missing workouts and healthy food.  I remember knowing this wasn't the end of the road, I just needed to get my momentum back, but how?

Best thing about having meningitis? I quit smoking, for good! I came home to a house full of flowers, it was great!

I still didn't have the 'go ahead' from the doc to go back to the gym 100%.  I went back and did everything about half speed.  I worked out with my trainer (despite what the doc said) and she got me back on track!

Chick-fil-a.  First fast food after I got back from the hospital.  Mama dropped me off at the house, and I waited a reasonable amount of time and drove and got chick-fil-a.  I felt no guilt.  None driving there, none ordering #1 large size with a coke, none eating it all in record time.  All the guilt always comes about three minutes after I finish eating.  And it lasts as long as I decide.  It's never worth it.  But that feeling has never been strong enough to keep me from going back.  The mind is a powerful thing! Mind over matter, yes this is true, this is real.  Unfortunately the mind can play tricks on you.  Your mind can rationalize things that if you were to say them out loud and to someone else they would laugh at you.  But you listen and think yeh, yeh, ok that makes sense.  And at the time, you truly believe what ultimately you are trying to convince yourself of!

I just need to get through this week.
I have the whole weekend to get things together.
I worked out all week.  I deserve...
I'll double up at the gym.
What other choice do I have? I don't have anything for lunch at home.
I just need to get through tonight.
If she can eat it, surely I can. (in reference to anyone. on tv, friends, family etc)

I wonder if I didn't get sick if I'd be fast food free today.  I'm still not.  It's better, but not anywhere close to 4 months clean. 

Lindsey said she was ready to read more of the story implying part II is where I am now.  I don't know how many parts there are, but I imagine that just like any addict it will be something I have to deal with for the rest of  my life. 

I liked myself as a gym goer.  And a wise friend that knows me well said simply that she was invested in my journey, don't let her down.  That took a little of the pressure off believe it or not.  I was able to focus on everyone that gave me the compliments, that saw the changes in me.  It's not about me, it's about pleasing them, not disappointing them. 

I can go to the gym for everyone else, just not for me?  I'll get there.  I'm still learning that I'm worth it.  I need to take the time, stick to it and not apologize for things, or events I have to miss because I'm on a journey.  It is about me and that's ok.  It hasn't been about me for a long time.  This is my time.  I'm not 100%, I'm not even sure that is the goal.  I have a lot of work to do.  But I have a lot of people behind me. 

Part II is still the very beginning of this journey! Stay tuned to hear about where I am now and how it's going!

Easter with my kids!

Last weekend was Easter and so Lindsey was in town with her family! They stayed at mom’s house and almost took up the entire upstairs.  There were kids everywhere, or at least it felt like it! Louis is much better than he was two months ago, but he still has some trouble sleeping.  So Sunday afternoon, after we got back from Uncle Chris’s house I found myself in a glider with a fussy Louis.  He is three months old and 16lbs! He’s a big boy, perfect snuggle size! He fit perfectly in the nook of my arm.  He doesn’t cry (unless the pacifier is out of his mouth) he is just….fussy.  So I have gliding in the chair singing all the songs I could think of.  Keeping a monotone voice so the inflection doesn’t excite him, I can be very animated when I sing! J

I remember having the same interaction with all my kids! Babysitting Betty in Charleston.  The first time Lindsey and Tab went out after she was born; she paid me to drive to Charleston because she didn’t trust anyone else with that sweet girl.  I was in the glider with her singing ‘I see the moon and the moon sees me’ over and over again while she cried.  Lindsey asked how she was ‘great, she did great!’

Sitting in the rocking recliner at mom and dads I held Raina and put her to sleep.  She was easy, that girl loves her sleep just like her daddy!  She was a big baby too, perfect snuggle size! I watched her as we rocked.  I studied her face, her eyelashes, her complexion, and her soft little ears! She was a beautiful baby! Just like now, you just had to put her blanket up against her face and she was half way gone!

Almost 6 years ago Trevor was that size! Each of these kids has their own little idiosyncrasies.  Trevor would sit in your lap with his pacifier with his fat little hands balled up in a fist in the palm of my hands.  I can smell the top of his head and feel his fine hair on my chin!

I remembered all these moments as I was sitting there with Louis studying all his features.  I knew I had to get them on paper (or computer) or I would quickly forget them!

Man, I love these kids.  All of them very differently, for their own little features, their own idiosyncrasies.  I wish I could quit my job and just rotate my time between all four of them.  That would be the best case scenario!  I’m happy that I’ve put into place that starting at 5 years old they will celebrate their half birthday with me! It’s hard to believe that the girls are just two years from that! I need to document more of my time with them! They do and say some of the funniest things!

Betty: (to Raina) “What’s your last name?” Raina: (to Betty) “Williams” Betty: “Oh” and then went on with their business playing with the coveted hula hoop!     

Happy Easter!

Goes with almost everything!

Chimichurri Sauce:

1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup yellow onion
1 tbsp garlic
1/4 cup parsley
1 tbsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp ground chili pepper
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/4 cup red bell pepper

It's delicious with a little bit of heat to it!  I've put it with almost everything I eat.  Tilapia, chicken, brown rice.  It's so good, I encourage you to try it for yourself!

My Journey: Part I

Hi, I'm Jennifer and I am addicted to...unhealthy food. 

I'd be curious to know people's initial reaction to that.  Is she serious? Is that real? Surely it's just a joke. 

No joke.  It's real.  Trust me!   

  I have struggled with weight my ENTIRE life. My whole life, from the time I can remember. I grew up in the 80's and 90's. I grew up in the fads of Jane Fonda, Richard Simmons, and Chrissy from Three's Company and that damned thigh machine. Slim Fast, Metabolife, Cabbage Soup were all at some point a big part of my life.  In all the years I can remember being fat, I can also remember the diets I was on.  From the time I was 10 years old I was on a diet. 

  Being young, I was just told this isn’t how you are supposed to look, take this and you’ll be fine.  As I got older I had my own “Ah Ha” moments.  And they were just that, moments in time.  I had plenty of “serious” talks with family and friends, “this is the time, this is the moment.  I’m not going into my 20’s like this…..not turning 25 like this…..not going into my 30’s looking like this.”  They didn’t work. 

 In July 2012 I started walking 20-30 minutes in the morning with my brother.  Just had a thought one day; the secret was (to myself) that it wasn’t really for me, it was to help him get up and going in the morning.  I went to his house early in the morning, we walked and then I went home and did 45 minutes of a workout dvd.  It was perfect! I had someone counting on me to meet them so I had someone other than me to be accounted to and I was ‘secretly’ getting healthy too.  July 2012.  No “Ah Ha” moment.  No, “This is the day.” I had nothing like that. 

 The dvd was getting old, so I joined a ladies only gym that was within my budget.  And I just went.  I can’t tell you what motivated me in the beginning, I have no idea.  But I didn’t ask myself why I just continued on. 

 It was October and I was 4 months in with no soda products or fast food.  That alone was amazing.  I will absolutely equate it to an alcoholic in the program going without a drink for the same time.  I got Meningitis and was in the hospital for four days.  I couldn’t work out; I had little choice with the hospital food. 

My momentum was gone.